You might poop on yourself.
Getting your first child is an exciting feeling. It's also very scary, the aspect of childbirth looks is often simplified to just spreading your legs and popping a child. Well, it's sort of the same thing but there are so many things that no one tells you about.
Your water doesn't break in a ceremonious splatter at your feet. It's a slower, more gradual flow akin to uncontrollably peeing yourself. It can keep trickling all day, necessitating a fat maxi pad. If your water doesn't break on its own, a doctor breaks it for you. No, it doesn't hurt, but it feels very uncomfortable. It could still be hours before contractions start and your cervix begins dilating to make way for the baby.
Just don't have sex once it happens.
Contractions start pretty chilled out like normal cramps before they extremely painful. Some say it's worse than pushing the baby out. they may be the worst part of giving birth. Yes, they can also last for hours.
Epidurals can make giving birth way easier to handle. Enjoy your first taste of intoxication after nine months of abstinence. While they may be expensive, an epidural will ensure that you are numb and high for the birth.
During birth, pooping on yourself is normal. This occurs because the baby moves to your uterus and presses against your nether region increasing the need. No, you will not be allowed to go and sometimes, holding is really not an option.
You have to deliver the placenta. Fortunately after popping a 'watermelon' delivering the placenta is pretty damn easy.
The doctor may cut you. This apparently shouldn't happen as it is an outdated practice but the doctor may have to cut through your opening to make it easier to push. That or your body tears own its own. There will be stitching involved if this happens to you. Luckily they dissolve in a week and don't need a doctor to remove them.
You're going to have a lot of post-birth bleeding. Just like menstruation, post birth bleeding occurs as the rest of the uterus lining heals. I will take six weeks.
And finally, this will not matter in a few months otherwise you will not be getting a second baby.