Family The main reasons fathers abandon their children

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Some of the reasons will surprise you

Parenting can be difficult – pretty sure every parent out there can attest to this.

For some it might come naturally but for others not as natural as they may want it to be; this can cause some parents to opt out of their responsibilities of being a committed parent.

Unfortunately in Kenya, a good number of women are being left to be single mothers because their men have abandoned their roles as fathers.

There have been numerous stories about men abandoning their families as soon as after child birth to others waiting on after the child has grown up a bit and gotten attached to them for them to leave.

An in-depth look into the reasons why men abandon their children revealed some thought provoking reasons why men abandon their children.

1.Drug addiction

No one truly knows what goes on in the mind of a drug addict – even the drug addict themselves are not sure what goes on in their own minds.

This can cause them to up and leave their perfectly good family without a clear reason why.

2.Selfish reasons

The common narrative of men abandoning their children because they were not ready to have a child, is one that we have heard very many times.

In most cases, the men are simply not ready to give up their previous lifestyles to take care of their children.

play Man and woman drinking at a bar (Courtesy)

 

They still want to continue getting involved with different multiple women and go to bed at night without having to worrying about how they have to attend a parent – teacher conference the next day.

Sad but true.

3.Jealousy that occurs when the mother pays too much attention to the child than them

A lot of women are guilty of paying too much attention to their children and abandoning the fathers in the relationships.

These women tend to forget that their relationship with their spouse still exists and that it needs to be paid attention to thus causing a rift between spouses.

play Mother with their child (Courtesy)

 

Some men have abandoned their children for this reason. It may seem petty but it is actually one of the main reasons why couples may have issues in their relationships after having a baby.

What makes matters worse in such situations is if the child prefers their mother to their father as this may bring about feelings of rejection.

4.Financial pressure

Raising a child is expensive - no doubt about that.

From the basic needs such as clothing and food to planning for school fees as well as providing for the family. Such pressure can definitely take a toll on a lot of men seeing that men are supposed to be the providers of the home.

It may get so bad that they can just opt to up and leave.

5.Disagreements on how to raise the children

Another common disagreement that couples have after they get children is on how to raise them. Your wife feels like you are too harsh on them when they do something wrong and another time they feel like you are being too soft on them.

There can never be a time when you have both agreed on something together.

play Couple fighting (Courtesy)

 

Some men can feel like they are not good enough or rather they are not adding any value in their home and in turn may just opt to take themselves out the equation permanently.

They feel at a complete loss when it comes to raising their children.

6.Some men want nothing to do with their wives/child's mother

In some situations, couples are unable to patch their relationship up from disagreements. This then leads to divorce or nasty break ups.

The father then decides to leave the family and not turn back simply because they cannot handle being around their child's mother.

The child unfortunately suffers this consequence.

7.Custody reasons

The law grants the primary custodian majority of the rights when it comes to a child and if the primary custodian is the mother then this just makes the father a visitor.

This can prove too much for some fathers and they might decide to stay out of their child's life for good.

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